You don’t get to choose if you’ll have change in your life. Yes, you can be intentional about inviting it in or holding it back.
But at some point, in some way, your life will shift.
More than once.
And when those transitions come you get to decide how to dance with that change. Sometimes it can feel graceful, a thing of beauty. And other times it’s painful, even embarrassing.
Would you swipe right?
So what’s your relationship with change? Would you select something new if your life choices appeared on a dating app? If you’re like me, it probably depends upon what is transforming, what those choices are.
Right now I’m looking forward to different weather when I head to Mexico for my annual retreat in a week and half. It’s in the 30s-40s here with some snow. But in a week I’m headed to 70s-90s and sunshine.
I feel differently about the changes that arrived along with having broken my ankle several days ago. I was helping my mom move from her longtime home in the Midwest to an independent living facility. On my last trip out of the house I missed the edge of a little plastic step into the garage that had been moved and fell.
Making friends with change
I’m not fighting the changes brought by my injury. I’ve done that plenty of times and it’s not very productive. In fact, it’s delayed healing and created more suffering for me.
So instead, I’m embracing the change that my temporary disability brings. I’m feeling my feelings. Of course I’m disappointed I can’t drive a car, walk on the beach in Mexico, or in my woods right for some weeks. But I’m mostly feeling grateful. Here are a few of the things for which I’m feeling appreciative.
- Minor break and that will heal completely in weeks.
- Little discomfort
- Support of strangers who helped me in the airport as I flew home with crutches and an aircast.
- My spouse, Theresa, and friend, Paula, who picked my car and me up in Portland since I was planning on driving home.
- My healer friends who’ve sent energy my way.
- My clients who have all been understanding of me cancelling their upcoming appointments.
I can’t say that moving into appreciation right away has been my go to when it comes to change. One of the advantages of struggling with it is that I’ve gotten good at recognizing some of the common mistakes we make whether hurtling or shuffling toward something new and different. I’ve learned (and continue to learn) how to embrace change rather than struggle with it. Over the next few days I’ll be sending you some articles about change and some of those common mistakes.
I’d love to know your thoughts. Where do you struggle with transition in your life? Do you relate to any of these mistakes?