Beliefs play a huge role in whether you experience a situation as “Oh, my god” or “Ahhhh.” . Guest blogger Sylvia Becker-Hill gets right to the core of this issue. You’ll want to read to the end for her very generous offer for a free “Brainalignment-Session” to a limited number of people.
How much are you haunted by “I’m not enough.”?
|Article by Sylvia Becker-Hill, PCC (ICF)|
Executive Change Strategist
Disclaimer: This text shares powerful information which are designed to trigger deep insights and if resonating even transformation. Read this article with the awareness of being responsible for how you integrate and make use of this information. It can be used for self-coaching but is not intended to substitute any professional therapy or coaching.
Since 28 years I research the question “What do we humans need in order to change in a positive and lasting way? Individually and globally?” A lot of answers I found are coming in the last 15 years from the amazing breakthroughs in neuroscience the science which helps us to understand the functioning and meaning of our brain in which the material and spiritual world interface in us.
Whenever we are about to pursue a goal – independent if it is to lose weight, make more money, find a better job, stop cluttering, improve our marriage…- we are working with two important forces of our brain: The conscious AND the sub-conscious mind.
When you ask people what they need to do in order to reach their goals most people have an answer! They know it from past successes or from the example of other people or from teachers or books how to get where they want. They write down their goals, figure out a strategy and how to measure their progress, make plans and try to act upon those long enough till they reach their dream. All very consciously!
“Where there is a will there is way.” is a common saying. “You just need enough discipline to get there.” is another one. I consider both sayings as brutal and only partially true. Why?
- It is unintentionally cruel, causing the person hearing it to feel inferior by implying that the only thing missing for their success is the discipline to change what they want to change. Feeling bad neither helps nor motivates them.
- Recent neuroscience has proven that this saying is wrong! Willpower is a resource that gets depleted over time through lack of sleep, poor nourishment, stress or just because of time passing. You can observe that easily with people who are on a weight-loss diet to improve their health. They are able to stick to the diet the whole day, but when they feel tired after a long day of work, they binge late in the evening! Is it just a lack of willpower running its course here? No!
We all have something way more powerful in our brain then just willpower:
Our subconscious mind.
And if this force is not with us, it works against us.
In the image above you can see several different categories of sub-conscious content which can either support or limit or stop our change attempts. One of the most powerful and deepest hidden ones I heard from my clients over the years and to my shock discovered just recently also in myself in the belief: “I am not enough.”
To check out how much you are haunted or driven by this belief think about something you like to change for the better in your life since quite some time but somehow – despite better knowledge – can’t create the results you crave…
While having your attention on this area of your life where you want to see the change, fill in the blank of the following sentence spontaneously:
“I can’t change this because I’m not ____________________ enough.”
What was your answer? Not smart enough, not slim enough, not rich enough, not young enough, not educated enough, not powerful enough, not disciplined enough, not strong enough, not old enough, not… Whatever shape your version of ‘not enough’ takes underlying is the even more painful thought “I am not enough.”
How could this sub-conscious thought pattern show up in your life?
After I discovered how much – despite all my self-development work and spiritual growth in the last nearly 30 years – I still believed that thought, I could suddenly see like a web of connections in the matrix of my life that it showed up everywhere:
– I’m rushing from appointment to appointment because I belief I don’t have enough time.
– I never take breaks during my work day because I belief I haven’t achieved enough before my boys come home from school.
– I go to bed too late at night even though I feel exhausted and tired since hours because I believe it’s not enough what I have done so far.
– When I shop my groceries I always buy a bit too much for our fridge to hold and more than we need because the belief ‘it’s not enough’ when I look into my shopping card makes me buy more.
– When I research a new topic and buy books on Amazon I always buy too many being driven by :I can’t have enough books.”
– When I deliver a workshop or a public speech I struggle to end in time and most of the time I overwhelm my audience through over-delivering being driven by “it’s not enough.”
– When I broke through the 6figures glass ceiling in my business I made more mistakes in my business in the following year than in the 15 years before in order to – sub-consciously! – make sure my empty bank accounts will proof ones again: “I’m not enough.’
|Going on writing this already too long article shows my point in action!|
When this kind of basic identity belief is running your life, you can find it everywhere. It’s the undercurrent which drives all your actions.
Did my examples trigger some recognition in your mind?
Bringing the belief and it’s symptoms to your awareness is the first step to change it. Simple willpower and discipline will not be enough to rewire your brain in the long run. You need serious transformational work with self-coaching, therapy or a professional coach. With a cocktail of a lot of honest self-reflection, humor, compassion, the Sedona Method and EFT (Tapping) I was able to turn this belief around in my brain.
In the morning I wake up now feeling “I’m enough.” and I think this new belief frequently throughout the day. It’s very fresh. So I’m still in the process exploring how it will change some old self-sabotaging habits into better success-habits. Maybe I start also here by ending this article before I over-deliver in old style…
© Sylvia Becker-Hill 2012
Would love to know your thoughts on the subject. Share them below.
And for 6 readers who are committed to change something for the better but are stuck and crave to know their ‘sub-conscious-change-wall’, I offer a free 45min “Brainalignment-Session”. Just send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the word Brainalignment in the subject line and I will send you an application.